The EMOTIONAL Diary of Near
by DoNTbESCaREd
Summary: Near is supposed to be the emotionless sheep. Right? WRONG! Near has tons of emotions! And they're all stored in this diary. Crack-filled and hilarity- packed. Rated for Nears' bad language and Mello!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: SO i turly believe that Near does have emotions he just doesn't express them normally. So he puts them all in a diary. That I happen to bhave and am now sharing with all of you. :] So enjoy this crack-filled laughter machine known as Near's diary.**

Dear Diary or journal... who cares,

Kay. So first off this was not my idea.

Watari and L said I'm too emotionless that I should express my feelings and gave me this peice of crap book.

So I could write down my feelings and stuff like that. First off I am NOT some emotionless sheep. I have plenty of emotions I just don't show them that well.

**MELLO **is way more emotional then me. If anyone deserves one of these it's him. And speaking of that blonde bastard. He shoved a LEGO down my throat.

All I did was try and return the chocolate he dropped. I said these exact words. "Mello, you dropped your chocolate. Here." and I handed it to him.

Then he stuffed a _**LEGO**_ down my throat. I seriously think he has issues. Like ISSUES!

I wonder about him and matt sometimes. I mean it's not healthy to smoke nor is it healthy to eat that much chocolate. The probably turn that into some kind of foreplay. I just can't wait to see the look on their faces when Roger catches ten one of these days.

Speaking of Roger. You know I've always suspected him of being a pedophile. And go-figure. This kid was running down the hall yelling "RAPE,RAPE!" and Roger was chasing him.

I wonder where Watari is at times like this...

- Near

**A/N So what do you guys think! Please comment and tell me if it's good or not! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Chapter le 2. Have fun and sorry for my spelling and grammer mistakes my computer started actiing stupid on me.**

Dear ... You know what! Who cares!,

So today Roger insisted we go on some sort of fieldtrip. And Watari said. 'Why not the musuem," In his weird Watari like voice.

I thought it was a bad idea.

Mello. In a museum. Yeah tell me how that works out. I refuse to go I'm not going to the musuem so I can get a dinosaur bone shoved down my throat.

Roger forced me too anyways. With the promise of a new toy. i'm not sure what _kind_ of toy he was talking about but whatever, he can be a pedo as long as he stays away from me.

When I got on the bus some really fat kid sat behind me and Mello and Matt were sitting in front of me.

The fat guy, I don't remember his name, leaned in and burped really loud right in my face. I glared at him and shifted slightly trying to get away from him. He was laughing and his breath smelled really bad.

Thenn Mello the guy that HATES me punched him. Right in the face. The guy started crying then Mello looked at me and said.

"Why the hell would you let him do that!" He said. Either Matt put him up to it. Or Mello's on crack.

I chose the first, it makes more sense.

But there is that one kid in the orphanage who sells 'Candy' to the other orphans. IT'S NOT CANDY!

Speaking of candy when we actually got to the museum. Guess who was right next to me. That's right. Beyond.

He was really weird just you know weird. He had a pocket knife and he would cut of peices of hair from random people. He even managed to cut of a peice of Mello's hair. I mainly just watched him the entire feild trip.

He even sat with me on the way back.

People are wierd.

When I got back Roger gave me the toy.

It was a rocket... I think.

It vibrated so I assumed it was a rocket.

Whatever I'll figure it out later.

-Near

**A/N: Poor Near! He has no idea what it is! Don't tell him what it is. He can't know yet. Have a good day!**


	3. Chapter 3

Dear journal that knows all my secrets,

Mello told me what the toy was.

And frankly I don't like it. So I told Watari and he took it away, yes but that night I heard weird things. Really weird things.

So today when I was ACTUALLY going to eat Mello shoved my face in my food! I mean seriously, what the hell have I ever done to him?! He just won't leave me the hell alone!

I was this THIS close to yelling at him, but I let Beyond pick off more of his hair and silently enjoyed Mello crying that his hair was falling out.

So when I got back to the play room I was gonna make this really cool palace with horses and everything when mello kicked it! He kicked my castle down. I mentally frowned but looked away and began feverishly twirling my hair.

I mean seriously!? Second fucking time today! Why!?

Matt was okay he gave me a candy bar and said he liked my hair. Gay. But I didn't say anything just took the candy bar and placed it in my lego safebox.

A package dropped in front of me and I read the label.

OMG! MY LEGO BATMAN PACK IS HER! YEAH! :D

I softly tore open the wrapping paper and from the side of the room I saw Roger smile like a creepy pervert with no life. Gross.

I took a little lego spere and threw it at his head and began assemebling the bat mobile! Hell yeah!

That's when I saw it. IT. A... MOTHERFUCKING MOUSE! I flinched inwardly and stood up shuffling to the couch and nearly hopped on staying there all niight as the filthy bastard mouse crawled all over my legos. That bitch!

- Near.


End file.
